Coming and Going
by sortasupersam
Summary: Love is a funny thing, and Captain Levi has a piss poor sense of humor. Levi/Mikasa.
1. Ch 1: Coming

_Rated M for language, explicit sex, and terrible writing._

_Also, that summary may change. I don't know yet._

_Maybe the title, too._

_Regardless, I hope you enjoy._

* * *

"Maybe if I had some motivation," Mikasa tried to suggest with the ever-present gall lining her inflection. "I'd be more inclined to do this."

There was a sharp kick to her ribcage. It took everything—_everything—_in her power to not topple over at the blow. She was _strong, _and the strong never fell collapsed at anything. She did wonder if the force upon impact was enough to shatter bone. Shards of rib fragments would be perforating the porous tissue of her lungs right this minute and he would barely lift an eyebrow at that, heaving a disappointed sigh before forcing her to run another mile's worth of laps. He was a sick man and she relished in the imagery of his head bursting into flames, singing that stupid haircut of his to a crisp.

Captain Levi, said sick man, was not moved in the slightest. He knew she was fuming, and he knew all the unspeakable things she was having ideations about doing to him. So he kicked Mikasa again, but for the sake of mercy, he didn't apply as much force. However, it still felt like he was kicking a boulder. This girl was as solid as a rock.

"Would you stop kicking me?" She hissed through gritted teeth, muscles locked into position. "All I asked for was some motivation."

"Motivation," His voice was velvety, almost a purr. He spoke concisely and eloquently, which infuriated Mikasa that much more. "is bullshit. Motivation requires the outside reliance of material objects and people. What you need," When he kicked her for the third time, he may have actually gotten some twisted pleasure out of it. "is _discipline._"

Mikasa restrained from wailing out in agony. Over an hour ago, he had forced her to hold her thighs parallel to the ground, arms straight above her head, and she was still holding the position with unwavering endurance, quaking from her muscles begging to relax. Now it hurt to breathe and tears were converging, but she'd be damned if she let them fall.

"Discipline comes from within. It is the driving force that will never leave you," There was a pause. He was cold and calculating, selecting his words with great care. "Your motivation, from what I recall, derives from a certain Mr. Jaeger, does it not?"

Mikasa did not verbally respond, but her countenance lighting up at the sound of his name was plenty for Captain Levi to know the answer.

"And, let's say by freak accident, Mr. Jaeger dies," Mikasa's eyes lowered to the ground. She would never let that happen. "Something occurs and you're just simply not there in time, Miss Ackerman. Your beloved Eren Jaeger is dead, and thus, your motivation is gone."

He assumed that was plenty to get his point across, but with the defiance still painted all over her pretty face, he knew there was more to get through to her.

"Sources of motivation will always have an end," Captain Levi halted in his words. Mikasa hissed at another kick to her ribs. "But with discipline, you will never fail. It will always be there. You train for discipline, you _suffer_. It is something earned, never given."

He put so much force into this final kick. Mikasa toppled to the ground, gasping for the air that was knocked out of her. Captain Levi swore he saw blood in her teeth. "Earn it, Ackerman."

* * *

It was nine o'clock, on the dot, and Captain Levi was sitting where he could be found any day of the week at precisely nine o'clock. The dining hall was empty at this point, all soldiers already fed their dinner, the cooks and the dishwashers already finished with preparing the kitchens for breakfast. The large dining hall—far larger than what was necessary to fit the already skimpy numbers of Recon Corps troops—housed only Levi at this point, where he sat at the head of a table in the far corner.

The kitchen staff always left a metal kettle on the stove for him, already filled with just enough water for his cup of tea—they even would account for the amount of water that would dissipate into the atmosphere as steam. And on the counter beside the stove, there would be a clean mug, still warm from the dishwasher, with a chamomile tea bag waiting inside. And at nine o'clock every evening, he would come down from his quarters and enjoy his tea in silence, before showering and retiring for bed.

Sometimes Levi would have paperwork to fill out, none of which were relevant to his position as the captain of the special operations squad, but he usually helped with the already backed-up paperwork as a favor to Commander Erwin anyway. Other times, he would have a book to read, although the library that was discovered in the renovated castle didn't have much of a selection. They were mostly fiction novels, long-winded tales of titan slayers rescuing princesses, but he always found them to be ridiculous. There was no glamor in killing the titans, and there was certainly never a princess to rescue. So he opted for tactician guides instead, most of which he found boring and having no new strategies to offer.

So more often than not, he spent his evening drinking his chamomile tea in silence. Levi didn't mind it, he actually found it to be a precious slot of the day to reserve for reflection. This particular day, however, he didn't want to reflect. There was plenty that he should have been contemplating—his new recruitment of Mikasa Ackerman, the death of his squad mates that happened no less than a month ago, how to proceed forward after the disastrous 57th expedition outside the walls. But instead, he was relishing in the peace, and he sipped his tea until it scalded his tongue, falling into a zen that was hard to come by.

Then there were footsteps echoing in the distance, and the shadow of an oncoming body dancing on the wall. Then Eren Jaeger was the one to turn the corner into the dining hall.

"There you are, Captain Levi!"

"Congratulations, Eren. Your reconnaissance skills will be the titans' downfall."

He gave a glare that was not nearly threatening. Levi knew Eren had a subconscious fear of him, ever since the incident in the courtroom. Beating someone within an inch of their life was not good grounds to begin a camaraderie, Levi had come to conclude in retrospect.

"Very funny, Captain."

"I highly doubt you have come all this way to comment on my sense of humor. What is it that you want, Eren?"

Levi expected him to ask for a day off, or if he could switch chores with someone else. But the way that Eren had to take a seat, and especially the way his expression darkened into a sort of maturity that Levi was not accustomed to see in the boy's face, made him think that this would be a lot worse than some menial favor.

"Would you like me to brew you some tea?" Levi offered, which took Eren aback. Levi knew he wasn't one to be associated with generosity, but Levi feared they would be here a while, so he might as well make the boy comfortable.

Eren shook his head. "No thank you, Captain, I just want to make this quick."

So much for being here a while. Levi reclined in his seat, nodding for Eren to go further. "Out with it, Jaeger. At this point, I'm afraid you'll be asking me to help you with hiding the body."

"N-No, it's nothing like that," Eren heaved a sigh. "It's about Mikasa."

"Ackerman," Levi clarified, somewhat surprised. It was always the girl fretting over the boy, never the other way around. "What about her?"

"I saw the two of you training today," Another deep breath. "And I mean no offense to your whole leadership thing, but... I guess what I'm trying to say—what I'm trying to _ask—_is that I'd really appreciate it if you weren't so hard on her."

Levi was speechless. He had felt like he had gone to easy on the girl, frankly. After all, it was difficult to hurt such a pretty face.

Eren took Levi's silence as anger, and rapidly tried to explain. "It's just that she's my best friend, and the closest thing I have to family, aside from Armin. Armin Arlert, if you didn't know. But this is about Mikasa. I love her, and I don't want to see her hurting, and it's my job to protect her—"

"I would have assumed that you, of all people, understood that the art of war has only one rule," Levi interjected. It was touching that he cared for the girl, and that it wasn't a one-sided love on Ackerman's behalf that he had first suspected, but it wasn't some teenage brat's position to be telling him how to lead his troops. "And that rule is—"

"No pain, no gain. Yeah, I got that. It's seared into my frontal cortex. You made that notion exceptionally clear when I was the one training with you."

Levi had not expected the interruption, and he certainly didn't expect such sass. He always knew Eren spoke with bated breath around him, for fear of getting another knee to his jaw, but this was completely surprising. And Eren didn't leave Levi any time to adjust to such shock, because the boy kept going.

"It's great that you want to make her stronger. But you and me both know that she's a strong as a soldier can get, both physically and mentally. So I don't need you beating her the way you beat me, because unlike me, her body can't regenerate. And since I'm the only one left in the world to look out for her, I will not hesitate to hurt whoever hurts her."

Eren rose to his feet, then gave the solider's salute. Right fist against the heart, he bowed his head. "With all due respect, Captain Levi, she's been through hell, and I do not need you to add to it."

* * *

Levi sat on his bed, hair dripping beads of water down the surface of his forehead, towel still wrapped around his waist. He had been sitting there for minutes now, replaying what had happened with Eren in his head.

When Eren turned to leave after his little speech, Levi had let him go. He could have gotten him for threatening a superior, or just simply kicked his ass for the sake of it. Levi didn't, though. He let Eren go, he didn't even bother to say anything further to the boy. But Levi did mull over his speech about the girl, Mikasa Ackerman, and wondered what it was she went through, especially if it was _hell_.

It was certainly hard for Levi to admit, but he was plenty aware that he was very condescending in the aspect of personal struggles and dark pasts. Levi felt like not a single person's experiences could amount to what it was that he suffered through, and Eren Jaeger was always leaning on the theatrical side, such a drama queen for such a teenage boy, so he _had_ to have been over-exaggerating what this hell that Mikasa Ackerman had been through was.

With that being said, he still sat in his towel, not even making any sort of attempt to dress into his sleeping attire. He was staring out the window, down into the vast field in the distance, right before the flat land turned into a sea of trees. That field operated as the running track, a dirt circle encompassing a an acre's worth of grass. And under the moonlight, he saw a figure running. From a distance, it looked like the figure was moving almost at a walker's pace, but he knew that this person was running at their full capacity.

He could not tell who it was that decided to run even more laps in the dead of night, but he was more than certain that the person was wearing a red scarf.

Levi eventually shut his window.

* * *

"Why is hand-to-hand necessary?" Mikasa stripped herself of her uniform jacket, folding it neatly before dropping it onto the grass beside her. "I'd like to think I'm not in the same weight class as a fifteen-meter."

Tightening the wraps around his hands, Levi rolled his eyes at the girl. "Yeah, but we're both middleweights and this is your shot at the title, so shut that mouth of yours and try to come at me."

Before Levi could even get into a readying stance and give the start signal, he was already dodging a fist that was hurdling for his head. "Whoa—"

Mikasa was fast, but Levi's primary advantage was speed, and he was able to capture her wrist. In one sweeping motion, he twisted her arm to throw off her center of gravity, shove the flat of his foot into her side, and send her toppling into to the ground.

He stood over her, where she refused to look anywhere but into his eyes. "Have you ever sparred a goddamned day in your life, Ackerman?"

She didn't say anything, she didn't look up. He felt like he was dealing with a child.

"Sparring is not an actual fight, so you're not actually trying to hurt your partner. It is about controlling your attacks and improving the accuracy of where you land those attacks. Now stand up, and let's start from the beginning."

Hastily, Mikasa rose to her feet, brushing off the dirt that clung to the sweat on the surface of her skin. This time, she waited for Levi to give the starting command. He nodded for her to begin, but she didn't learn a thing—her arm shot out like a bullet again, barely grazing Levi's ear. Well, she did learn a thing apparently, because when he grabbed her wrist again, she managed to anticipate the motion of his foot and rotated her hips in the perfect angle to avoid another kick that would've sent her back down to the ground.

Levi recalled Eren's demand to not hurt her. Of course, he wouldn't leave the girl unscratched, but he decided to at least slightly honor Eren's wishes by not destroying her entirely. So he avoided punching her directly. Then he saw stars on a field of black, falling to the ground with the taste of metal in his mouth.

Something was trickling at the corner of his mouth, and he raised his hand to solve the mystery of what it was exactly, and when he saw the redness of blood on his fingertips, he could only blink. She managed to kick him in the face, and she managed to draw blood. Some girl with not even a year's worth of experience outside of military training managed to both strike and injure the best soldier of the century. Levi was pissed, especially since he explicitly stated that sparring _wasn't supposed to injure anybody._

Mikasa glowered, unapologetic. "Can't handle a little blood, Levi?"

The lack of a _captain _in conjunction with his name was what sent him overboard. Of course, this was Captain Levi, and it wasn't in his character to express how he felt for the whole world to see, but he was indeed fuming internally, and he was channeling this rage into a means of attack. There was no need to express on the outside, when he was capable of rerouting those emotions on the inside into a greater, and much better, outlet.

And this outlet was getting Mikasa Ackerman into a choke hold. Speed was on his side, and he knew she wasn't expecting an immediate counterattack due to the fact that his entire fucking mouth was soaked in blood, so she didn't have much of a chance to avoid his forearm wrapping around her throat. Her nails sunk into his skin, but he didn't apply enough force to restrict her breathing to the point of asphyxiation—he wasn't trying to kill her, after all.

He did release her after a moment, fixing his position so that he was pinning her to the ground rather than suffocating her. Levi rested his weight on her abdomen, holding her wrists just above her head. Mikasa stared at some ambiguous point in the distance, and Levi stared at _her_.

She wasn't in her most conventionally attractive state—she was sweating with her hair sticking to her forehead, chapped lips frustratedly gasping for air, spots of Levi's blood mixing with the dirt on her cheeks. It wasn't the most aesthetic situation, but he could still feel her beauty in the pit of his stomach. Such a pretty face allowed for Levi to notice that scar above her lip so harshly. It was thick and faintly pink, old enough to have faded as much it ever could. He stared at her scar as if it was the focus point of his entire life's calibration.

"Where did you get that scar, Ackerman?"

Mikasa ran her teeth along her lip, as if she were trying to pull the scar into her mouth, away from Levi's scrutiny. "That's none of your goddamned business, _sir._"

"We obviously have that tongue of yours to control," He narrowed his eyes down at her, mainly because her's were already narrowed up at him. "How's that _discipline_, though? I'm willing to push you way past your limits."

With a wave of strength that Levi could simply never have predicted, she managed to throw him off of her. Not enough to sending him flying, but enough for him to fall over beside her with a thud. She stood up, brushing herself off.

"Push me past my limits all you want. You know I'll only push back."

* * *

Levi only wanted a glass of water, not an interrogation.

But he knew Hanji ate her lunch during this time of the day, and he simply could not wait for her to finish stuffing that face of hers in order to rehydrate. So, not even bothering to dress out of his sparring clothes—or rather lack of clothes, since sparring only required a pair of shorts and not the entire soldier's uniform—he braced for the worst as he pushed past the herds of younger soldiers in line for their daily lunch ration.

Maybe he wouldn't have to deal with her nosiness, since he managed to fill his canteen with water without running into her, or her lackeys. But, of course, he spoke too soon and Hanji managed to spot him in the crowd. It wouldn't be too hard, considering he was the only shirtless man in the entire crowd.

He could have ignored her entirely, but due to the value of what he liked to consider some form a friendship with her, Levi detoured to her table.

"Why the long face, Levi?" Hanji frowned, motioning for him to sit beside her.

"It's noth—"

"Oh, who am I kidding? Your face always looks like that!"

Hanji was the type to laugh at her own jokes—as terrible as they may be—and while it was an overall annoying attribute, Levi did find mild endearment out of it. But not right now. Right now, he indeed had a long face, and he didn't want to talk about it, but he knew she would make him talk about it anyway.

"I saw that vicious fight between you and your newest special operations soldier," Hanji, omniscient in the most intimidating of ways, speared a leaf of lettuce with her fork, brandishing it just inches from Levi's face. "Would that be the fundamental root of your disposition?"

"It wasn't the fight," Levi admitted. He wanted to leave, and in all the years of knowing Hanji, he knew that the only way for that to happen would be to bare it all for her. Besides, she gave good advice from time to time. "It's just—_her_."

"It's only your second day with, what's her name, Mikasa? I can't imagine it was that bad, _especially _with all the good things I've heard about her."

"She's skilled. Extremely talented and has both the brains and the brawn to survive out there. But it's just," Levi was having a hard time putting his turmoil into words. This part was always difficult when talking to Hanji. He always felt what he felt, channeled it into some greater good, and moved past it. He never labeled it, or tried to make sense of it, unless he was talking to Hanji. Which, of course, he was. Levi sighed. "My reputation is known everywhere within the walls, and I've had soldiers from all walks of life trying to get a chance to serve under my command. But this girl, she's different. And she has so much audacity and gall that it's almost stupid. She doesn't respect me the way everyone before her has. She's a fighter, not a follower."

Hanji absorbed this, adjusting the glasses attached to her face. "It sounds like she's just like you."

"No, because _I _respect those ranked above me."

"I'm ranked above you," Hanji was grinning.

"You're in an entirely separate branch from me. It's like comparing apples to oranges."

"I was just _teasing_," She rolled her eyes, moving the lettuce into her mouth. Levi was brainstorming ways he could segway into a goodbye, so that he could move on with her life. "Anyway. You didn't respect authority in the beginning, _remember?_"

Levi looked away. "That's not the point."

"Eren told me about his confrontation with you last night," She stated out of nowhere.

"Why would he do such a thing?"

Hanji shrugged, smiling. "It was me who told him to go talk to you in the first place."

"Whatever. I won't kill his little girlfriend, so he can go ahead and sleep easy at night."

She hesitated with her next choice of words. "He said that the girl has been through a lot."

"'A lot' is a relative term," Levi rolled his eyes. He didn't get any special treatment because of his history, and he wasn't one to start doling it out now. "I just need to break her in order to get her in line."

"It's only my observation from an outside perspective, but I think she's already been broken," Hanji shrugged, setting her fork down entirely. She leaned forward. "Maybe you should extend yourself out to her as more than just her captain."

Levi didn't understand. "What, like try to be her friend?"

"That's exactly what I'm trying to say."

* * *

Levi would never die. He had come to that conclusion.

With all the deaths he had been faced with, with all the squads he had outlived, he just knew in his bones that he was going to live forever at this rate. The world would go down in flames, humans and titans alike going extinct, but Levi would be left. He would survive, because that was in his nature, but he would be alone, because that was also in his nature.

It was lonely at the top. In a pyramid, there was only one apex, only room for one at the pinnacle. He knew he would be the only one in existence to stand up there. It was statistically proven. And if Mikasa Ackerman was indeed anything like him, then she was at the apex of her own pyramid. That was a kind of looming pain that he wouldn't wish on anybody.

So maybe that was why he was walking through the hallways of the castle headquarters. Maybe that was why he was fully dressed, cape and everything, and in a part of the castle he had no business being in. As a superior in ranks, he was technically allowed access to all areas of the castle, but there were some places he would never find use in visiting. The girls' bedrooms were an example of such a place.

But here he was, keeping his steps light and his breathing unheard, looking for the specific room at the end of the hall. He got there at one point or another, and without ceremony, he raised his knuckles to tap on the heavy wooden door. There was no light seeping from underneath the crack of the door, so maybe he caught her while she was asleep. Or even worse, this may have not been her room at all. He waited for some sign of life on the other side of the door.

Would he breach all moral and gentlemanly codes of conduct and actually open the door without permission? He could just turn around and go back to his room and forget this stupid plan and never follow Hanji's stupid advice ever agai—

The door opened, hesitantly at first, then quickly swung all the way when she realized who was on the other side. She didn't _seem _angry, just genuinely confused. "Captain Levi? What are you doing here?"

He didn't want to look like a deer in the headlights. Levi knew what he was doing, he knew what he had planned, and he wasn't about to stutter now.

"Ackerman, get dressed. We're going out."

* * *

_Okay, please forgive such a long author's note. I just have a thing or two to mention._

_For one, the intro (the part where Mikasa is getting the shit kicked out of her) was written in Mikasa's point of view, and out of sheer laziness, I haven't gone back and rewritten it. Don't expect any more of Mikasa's perspective, sorry._

_And secondly, I wrote this story with the completely singular intention to entertain. It's not of literary merit, which I'm disappointed about, but I'm writing this for you guys to enjoy, so it doesn't matter what I think. I do hope you like dramatic, angsty romance crap with so much unnecessary sex. 'Cause that's what you're gonna get from this stupid story. _

_Oh god this note is embarrassingly long. _

_Feel free to review._

_Tell me what was kinda good, shit all over this entirely, or whatever else you want._

_I can take it._

_(**denuit **and **tontita**, I have not forgotten about you two)_


	2. Ch 2: Going

_Thank you for all of your kind words, follows, and favorites. _

_Oh god, I wasn't expecting any of that type of feedback. _

_I'm completely undeserving, you guys are ridiculous._

_Anyway. Please try to enjoy chapter two._

* * *

Rules held a position on Levi's list of priorities.

Naturally, he was rebellious, and naturally, his first years as a soldier weren't optimal—he didn't even graduate in the top ten of his class. But he had been broken and exposed in his most raw state, with special thanks to Commander Erwin. He had been built from the ground up, a respect for the rules rising from the rubble of the old Levi.

Without rules, the world was chaos. People would die at the hands of others, boys lost their mothers and mothers lost their boys without rules. Levi thrived in an existence that followed laws. The laws of physics, the law of conservation of energy, the law of equal exchange, laws made by the kings and laws that destroyed the kings. They were logical, they made sense. There was no room for error, no question of what to do. Rules were apart of the ebb and flow of life.

But, he was rebellious down to the core. Breaking the rules just _came so easily _to him. So easily that Mikasa stared at him as he handed off a horse to her. "You know what you're doing," It wasn't a question. Levi knew what he was doing, because rule-breaking was in his genetic code.

It was against the rules to be out past curfew, and it was especially against the rules to go AWOL. These rules applied, despite the rank of the offending solider. But here he was, and there she was, saddling up to ride out into the night. Levi didn't think much of it.

Levi straddled his own horse, a black beast of a creature with an unbreakable spirit, motioning for Mikasa to stay close behind. He could tell she was ready to talk, and knowing that making noise was a sure way to get caught, he turned at the waist to look behind him, a finger pressing against his lips. "Shh."

He led her out of the gate that protected the Recon Corps castle, down the dirt road into the darkness. There was nothing but the shining of the moonlight to keep them company.

"Can I talk now?"

"Sure, but it's not like you have anything important to say."

So she didn't talk anymore, the hooves of the horses patting against the dirt being the only sound hanging in the air. Levi wished he hadn't been so unintentionally rude—he was trying to extend himself out to her, not give her that much more reason to spit in his eye. But Levi wouldn't apologize, so he moved past his little remark, promising himself that _that _was the last time he would be such a dick to her. He knew this promise was as empty as a gun barrel. And a gun was probably a lot safer than what Levi was capable of saying.

The ride was brief, no more than twenty minutes. It would have been shorter, but they didn't push their horses so hard. During the day, they were the strongest soldiers—they cleared obstacle courses fast, they ran laps fast, they fought fast. Not only did they need skill, they needed _speed_. But that was during the day. There was a spell of lethargy settling into their bodies at night. There was no need to rush, no need to stand on edge. This wasn't titan territory. This was just Captain Levi and his subordinate riding into town at a pace that was leisurely comfortable to them.

"Where are we going?" Mikasa had finally asked, the first words spoken for a while.

Levi dismounted his horse, leading the animal to a tree. He hitched her to the trunk, giving enough slack for the horse to roam comfortably. Without verbal direction, Mikasa copied Levi's movements. Once everything was said and done, they walked up into the roads of the town.

"These towns are where the people live," Levi studied the different houses nestled next to one another. This house had a garden, that house had laundry hanging on a line. Some were stone, some were wooden, but they were all so beautiful. Levi really wished he'd be able to buy his own house someday. "They all commute into the city for their work, which is at the center. That's where we're going."

Levi led the way. The walk to the innermost part of the city was long, but not unpleasant. It was just simple and quiet, which Levi had started to associate with Mikasa's company. Well, her company in the night at least.

It was dark outside, but the city was illuminated with the nightlife of the locals. Mikasa observed with wide eyes and an agape mouth at her surroundings, which Levi assumed she was having sensory overload. He knew this was the case because even though Levi had been raised in a city atmosphere, being exposed to it after so long in the Survey Corps, he was having a sensory overload of his own.

Music was coming from somewhere, the sounds of horns and strings combining into something completely decadent to their ears. The smell of different foods and sweets for sale wafted all around, which was so much more appealing than the stale smell of bread and stew in the castle. The colors of the lights were bright, the crowds of the people in the streets were suffocating. But there was nothing uncomfortable, there was nothing to fear. This was a place where titans were a campfire scary story, and pleasure wasn't forbidden. Neither one of the two smiled, but they stuck close together and Levi was actually mildly enjoying himself.

For an attempt at bonding, they weren't doing much talking. Levi noticed this and tried to remedy that. This sort of peacefulness he found in Mikasa was as close to solace he had been in a long while, and this was nothing like his nine o'clock tea. "You like it?" He asked after trying to find the perfect question to break the ice.

"I do," She was drawn to a peddler's table of wares, running her fingertips along the surfaces of the different carvings and stones. Mikasa looked into Levi's eyes, which were still as heavy-lidded and narrow as ever, but that didn't mean he wasn't having a good time. "But why did you bring me all the way out here?"

"If we have to work together, we might as well play together."

Mikasa didn't think much of what he had said, but Levi kicked himself for letting something with such heavy innuendo slip—he didn't even _mean _it like that. She was still a kid, after all. Or was she? Levi hadn't bothered to look at her file at the time of recruitment. He had no clue.

"How old are you, Ackerman?"

"Seventeen," Mikasa answered after a while, her focus completely devoted to the various fabrics of the scarves hanging on display.

He was right. A kid.

Levi watched the way she was almost hesitant to touch anything, but when she did, she would handle the object with great care. The hands of a killer were so tender. "Why don't you get a new scarf to replace that ratty one?"

Without even hesitating, and without even thinking, she clutched the red fabric hanging around her neck into her fingers. "Never."

He left her to her ministrations, not minding the way she bounced from this peddler's table of wares to that artisan's crafts. Levi didn't even know why they were in the city, or what he had planned exactly. But he was plenty satisfied with this activity. He let her roam at her own pace. Every time she stopped and observed a certain object with just a little more admiration than the rest, Levi would consider purchasing it for her. It wasn't a gesture of anything but simple chivalry. The Survey Corps paid exceptionally well, especially when a soldier was as high in ranks as Levi, but he never found any marginal utility from the extra pay. Aside from the occasional alcoholic drink, he never splurged on much. So he might as well give it to her.

"Do you want that?" He pointed to the necklace in her hand. It wasn't gaudy or extravagant, a simple silver chain with some sort of gem dangling at the end.

"What, no—" Mikasa looked almost embarrassed, dropping the necklace back down onto the display it came from. "Sorry, I was just looking."

Without a single dip or rise in his demeanor, he picked up the necklace into his own hands, motioning at the operator of the table. He didn't bother asking for a price, just reaching into the depths of a pocket to grab a generous amount of money. Levi had probably spent more than what it was worth, but he wasn't one of much frugality, so he let it go. "Here," He tossed the necklace into Mikasa's hand.

She was obviously taken back. Captain Levi had bought her something, and he had spent more than what was necessary. It was ridiculous to think about. He didn't even consider it an act of kindness. He didn't think much of it at all, actually.

Mikasa didn't say anything for a long time. Levi was ready to venture onward, but she finally started moving that mouth of hers. "Thank you, Captain Levi."

"Come on," Levi tugged the hem of her Survey Corps cape, motioning for her to follow suit. He lead her into the depths of the crowd. It must have been the weekend, considering how many people were out and about so late. In the castle, time meant everything, but no one seemed to pay much attention to the dates. It could have been a Monday or a Saturday, it didn't matter to a Survey Corps soldier. Every day was a work day. But out here in the real world, it was probably the end of a stressful week for all these people. They were just looking to have a little fun and spend time with those close to them. Levi was surprisingly empathetic in that regard.

They had passed through the worst of the crowds, mindlessly loitering up the street. Then a voice caught their attention. "You guys Survey Corps?"

"I used to know a guy who runs shit in the Survey Corps now," Another voice added. "We did business back in Sina, way back in the day."

"Was his name Levi?" Levi asked, fist tightening ever so slightly. So slightly, that his tension would go unnoticed to an untrained eye.

"As a matter of fact, I think it was," One of the two men spoke, both voices too deep and burly to be able to differentiate. "You know him?"

Levi had never been one for the theatrics. He liked to get straight to the point. And he was about to reveal that, surprise, he was Levi, but then Mikasa of all people entered the conversation.

"_I_ know Levi," He was mildly impressed that she could smell bad news in any situation, but he knew this was far too much for her to handle. Her training went to the extent of titans, and he knew she had no idea there was a whole new breed of monster within humans. He had to intervene at some poi—

Mikasa flew back, just _barely _avoiding a potentially fatal blow. "Well, if you ever get back to him, give him _this _for me," He swung again. This man was beefy, and he was angry, which was a terribly dangerous combination.

Without much time to think, Levi watched Mikasa grab the wrist of the offending man, other hand on the inside of his elbow. And in one fluid, well-trained motion, she sent that fat forearm hurdling into the top of her knee. Levi winced at the sound of the crack. Mikasa's expression hardly moved an inch.

There was a loud scream, the crowds of onlookers coming to a halt in front of the scene. The man clutched his own broken arm. "You _bitch!_"

Levi saw the second man, frozen in his position, trying to come up with a means of action. Levi thought much faster than him, initiating an attack on the man. No intent to injure, just enough force to knock the man back in order to abscond from the situation entirely. The last thing he and Mikasa needed was to be caught by the Garrison Police for disturbing the peace. Levi hooked his foot onto the ankle of the man, giving a swift kick to knock the man's balance. He was down, and Levi grabbed Mikasa's wrist, pulling her into the direction of safety. Not that they were in imminent danger, but they would be if they were to get caught and reported back to Commander Erwin. Superior or not, Levi was in for a heat of trouble if this escalated any further.

"Wait!" Mikasa freed herself from Levi, turning back.

He watched the girl going back to the man with the broken arm. "Hey, Ackerman—"

She sent an elbow into the jaw. Levi was at a loss of words—how was she so cruel? Not that he was admonishing her actions, he just genuinely was under the impression that she had more regard for human life. But she was taking this too far, despite the fact that he attacked her first. Levi was pretty sure he had never seen either of these men before, regardless of their knowledge of him, but that wasn't enough grounds to justify kicking the shit out of them. Mikasa broke his goddamned _arm, _after all.

"Ackerman, we have to _go,_" Levi warned, patience quickly diminishing from his voice. "Prioritize your objectives, you fucking brat."

But it was too late. There was a sharp pain in Levi's side. Instinctively grabbing the source of injury, he felt the warm wetness of blood, and a rip in the fabric of his shirt. The man he had tripped had a knife, and now there was a knife wound in his ribcage. It, thankfully, was not a stab, more of a gash that wasn't too detrimental, but it still _hurt _and it was something he'd have to explain to Hanji when he would get stitched up later.

"Captain—" Mikasa was in some form of a shock. It wasn't a big deal, since she had seen him undergo worse circumstances. But that was at the hands of a titan—humanity's sworn enemy. But to get attacked and hurt by another _human? _She hardly knew the half of it. And it was with that realization that Levi lost all patience with the girl.

"Listen, _Mikasa_," He hissed through gritted teeth. "Stop pretending you know what you're doing—"

His statement was emphasized with Levi trying his best to ignore the pain in his side as he raised a leg to kick the knife out of the hand of his attacker. The knife went flying, and without any of the dramatics, Levi managed to catch the guy square in the nose. A textbook punch, matched with a textbook nosebleed.

"Ackerman, we're leaving _now._"

And when he pulled her this time, she actually followed.

They were running through and dodging the crowds. A bad time for a conversation. But the girl spoke anyway. "I-I'm sorry, Captain. They just—they reminded me of these men that had made me suffer—and I-I—I-I'm sorry—"

Levi wasn't in the mood for it. "Can it, princess. You don't know _shit _about suffering."

* * *

There was something wrong. Because this was Mikasa Ackerman he was dealing with, and there was something always wrong. He had been told that teenage girls were exceptionally hormonal messes with personal vendettas that ran deep, and he had thought that Mikasa Ackerman was an exception. She was trained and refined and her teenage years were unlike those that these rumors stemmed from, and yet, here they were.

"Thank you," He bowed his head to the old woman who owned this restaurant. She had just finished bandaging his wound, although she wasn't nearly trained enough to perform stitches. But it was enough to hold him over until he was at the mercy of Hanji.

Hanji was going to end his life. Not necessarily for breaking the rules—she had her own fair share of misdemeanors—but because Levi allowed for things to get this _bad _between himself and his one and only subordinate. But he didn't want to think about that at the moment. He could deal with that later. Right now, it was about Mikasa Ackerman.

When was it not?

The old woman had poured him sake into a simple, white ochoko, leaving the tokkuri behind for him to serve himself as he so wished. But he wasn't thirsty, and in an attempt to achieve even the slightest bit of reconciliation with the pouting girl, he placed the drink on the table in front of Mikasa Ackerman with a thud. A dull thud that echoed in the otherwise empty restaurant, which only enunciated the tension of her silent treatment. Yes, she was giving him the _silent treatment_.

He wondered why he was so affected by this. It was probably because it was something as asinine as the _silent treatment_, but it could also be because it was Mikasa Ackerman that was punishing Levi. He had taken a knife wound for the girl, managed to sneak out of the Survey Corps headquarters for the girl, and had even bought a gift for the girl. They were all actions that didn't seem to hold much sentiment to Levi, but they were starting to add up.

"Drink," Levi commanded after a while.

Mikasa stared at the ochoko, then away. Here he was, offering alcohol to a minor, and she was passing it up. Levi tried not to get frustrated. That would only deepen whatever resentment she was harboring, and there was still far too much training ahead for her to be kicking and screaming through.

Levi sighed. If he had to deduce down to what she could have been so upset over, it could have been the stupid suffering comment he made. Recalling Eren's words of Mikasa going through hell in her past, he probably hit a sore subject. With all due respect to her teenage angst, she needed to learn to get over whatever troubles it was that haunted her. He took a seat in the wooden chair opposite to the sulking girl. She wasn't sulking, really. As a matter of fact, Levi could not translate her facial features into any sort of emotion at all.

It was almost doll-like, watching her. That face was handcrafted by the gods, Levi concluded. He was sure that she was made out of porcelain, and those eyes were luxurious drops of dark ink. Those pink lips were painted on, perfectly proportionate to her nose. A doll, perfect for selling at top-dollar, a doll perfect for touching and holding and looking. That scar was still there, staring straight into Levi's eyes. The scar, although considered a flaw, it wasn't one on her. It was just an extension of who she was, and it separated Mikasa from being a doll entirely.

She wasn't a beautiful toy designed to sit on a shelf.. She was human, and she was his soldier.

And she was still mad at him.

It made him feel somewhat guilty. Guilty enough to swallow his pride, and guilty enough to open his mouth. "I'm sorry, Ackerman. For whatever I said or did."

He made it light, casual. Captain Levi was apologizing, ridding any sarcasm from his voice, and he truly tried to maintain a level of authenticity. He was sorry for not being the leader she needed, and sorry for trying to forcing some contrived relationship out of the two of them in the first place. But he still held onto that tone of voice that sounded almost disregarding. Because he was prideful, and he could never be truly sorry for anything. He had tried, and he thought that should have counted for something.

Levi wanted a response from her. He needed it, actually. Closure was a part of his nature, and if there were ever any loose ends to tie up, he would be the one to do so. Comrades died, he'd mourn and move on. Missions failed, he learned from them and never made the same mistake twice. When there was an issue, he would deal with it, then file it away forever. But here he was, trying to seek closure with Mikasa—closure that would allow them to never stray away from a professional relationship ever again, and closure that would allow for training to go on as planned—and she could not even bother to look in his direction.

But then, she _did_ look in his direction. "Training at dawn tomorrow."

He was familiar with that voice of hers. Not necessarily the tonal quality and pitch of her specific voice, but that empty voice that was held so painfully steady, so emotionally void. It was a voice he had perfected himself, a voice that only a specific breed of humans were capable of. A human like him. A human who understood the tragedies of the world, and a human who knew how to block it all out. He was just one more thing for her to block out, and in an attempt to not show how surprisingly upsetting that was to him, he reciprocated the voice.

"Dawn. No later."

* * *

It was nearing the complete and utter dead of night by the time the horses were back in their stables and Mikasa Ackerman was back in her room. Levi was a rule-breaker by nature, and this was one of his easier offenses to commit. Aside from the cut in his side, there was no evidence that they were ever gone in the first place.

He was back in the world he had grown accustomed to, back in the world of order. Rules had once again taken control over his priorities, and life would go on. He would wake up to train his only soldier, and he would go to sleep to repeat that process. There would be no more field trips, no more attempts at reaching out. Levi had tried, and it was a bust. Hanji, in this case, had no idea what she was talking about.

There were footsteps following behind Levi, and for the first time within the walls, he felt uneasy. It was that sort of drop in the stomach that occurred when a kid was caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Levi had all of the cookies, and now there was someone to catch him. And since he was never one to turn away from his fate, he deviated from his path to his room, rotating direction to face whomever it was that lurked behind him.

"Captain Levi!" It was a low-ranking solider. A nameless, faceless soldier who had been more startled by Levi than the other way around. "What are you doing out?"

Levi wanted to go to bed. "I orchestrated my entire evening's plans to lead up to this moment. I purposefully stayed out this late _just _to come into contact with you, because I love the sensations of a low-ranking private questioning the actions of their much older, much _wiser _superior. And I love kicking their ass into next week for thinking they possessed the authority to take record of what I do with my time, and where I choose to be at any point of my existence."

He had taken his frustrations out on this poor boy. He scoffed. _Poor _boy. Pity was a waste of his time, and he was cranky because it was far past his bedtime. So he turned away.

"C-Commander Erwin sent me to retrieve you, sir!" The soldier called, right when Levi thought he was in the clear for the night. "Th-That's why I was so surprised to already see you out of y-your room..."

It had to be at least two or three in the morning. This was odd, Levi was never summoned in the middle of the night. It was only in an event of emergency that Commander Erwin would need him so urgently. _Great._ "Did he tell you what he wanted with me?"

"No, sir," The boy was fidgeting, tripping over his own words. Levi hated it. "I-I was on guard d-duty for the night and h-he ran into me and t-told me to get Captain L-Levi immediately. A-And you're Captain Levi so—"

"Enough," Levi put his hand up. So much for bed. "Return to your guard station. I'm going to Commander Erwin now."

The soldier saluted and ran off, leaving the hallways empty again. Levi stifled a yawn, taking each step one at a time as he headed for the office of the Great Commander Erwin. It must have taken him an hour to get to the double doors that led into his office, and without even bothering to knock, he let himself in. He made sure that his knife wound was concealed behind the fabric of his cape.

"You rang, your majesty?"

Erwin looked up from the papers before him, taken aback by Levi's fully-dressed state. "I'd assume you would be in your sleeping clothes at this point in the night."

"I had to dress for the occasion," He didn't waver in his eye contact with Erwin. He wasn't about to look suspicious of breaking the no-leaving rule. "My best friend only deserves me in my most presentable condition."

Erwin had relinquished his scrutiny, taking it for a joke. Levi was able to stand a little easier."With your cape, too?"

"Especially the cape."

"I'm flattered, Levi," Erwin leaned forward, resting the enormity of his upper body onto his forearms. Out of nowhere, the image of Mikasa breaking that man's forearm came into his head. "But I hardly called you in here to discuss wardrobe."

Levi noticed the heavy lines of the usually handsome man's face. This job as commander was certainly taking its toll him, and Levi was too tired to express immediate concern. "Darn."

"Have a seat, Levi."

"Sitting would imply that I will be here for a while, so I think I'll remain on my feet."

Erwin smirked, moving to press the heels of his palms into his eyes. He let out a groan. "I'm going to keep this short, Levi. I'm concerned with the way you're handling Mikasa Ackerman."

So that was why he called Levi into his office. Levi was annoyed. This definitely, one-hundred percent could have waited until a time that wasn't three in the morning. He had also known that he was hitting a rough spot as Mikasa Ackerman's leader, but he didn't think it was bad enough to warrant Erwin's intervention. "And what is it that I'm doing that is so concerning?"

"May I remind you, Levi, that humanity is at war? I put Miss Ackerman under your command because I know you are ruthless as a teacher and as a leader. I knew you would be able to refine her natural genius into something unstoppable."

If there was one thing Levi hated, it was being reminded of something he was acutely aware of. Levi knew what he was doing, and he didn't need to be watched over like a child. "And I'm doing that. We haven't been training for very long, so I don't know what it is that you already expect."

Erwin remained silent, clearly mulling something over in his head. Although they were old friends, there was still a position of power to respect. "Fair enough, Levi," He finally said, voice even. "I'll tell you what I'm expecting from here on out. I'm expecting you to take her way farther than I took you. Make her hate you because of how far you'll push her."

Levi nodded, turning to leave. "Consider it done, Erwin. I trust your—"

"I'm not done yet, Levi," He was firm, almost angry. Levi turned back to face Erwin once again. "I expect one more thing."

Levi hardly blinked. "Anything."

"I expect you to get that goddamned cut in your side stitched up."

* * *

_There are many flaws with this chapter that I need to fix._

_But I'm not gonna, due to inherent disregard for quality. I'm so sorry._

_There's a poll on my profile, you should definitely go vote._

_It may or may not dictate the outcome of this fanfic in its entirety._

_Also, feel free to review and let me know what could be done better in chapter three._

_I love you guys._

_Oh, and follow me on tumblr if you want._

_It's sortasupersam over there, too, because I lack creativity._


	3. Ch 3: Coming

_This chapter is pretty short. This chapter is pretty terrible._

_Please do try to enjoy it, though, for what it's worth._

* * *

Her form was beautiful, those lean arms extending into eternity with every swing of her swords. Hips moved in synch with the rocking of the 3DMG, toes were pointed, shoulders down and her overall body composition was relaxed, nearly graceful. She turned fighting into an art form. He was almost envious. It was only a matter of time until she would surpass his own threshold of greatness.

"Pick up the pace, you fat fuck!"

Levi stood, observing. Arms crossed, mouth set in a thin line. He kept watching her soar through the sky, studied the way she locked her wrists into position before taking a swing at each passing target. Mikasa Ackerman had no need to pick up the pace, she was actually _minutes _past her personal best. And it went without saying that her own personal best was an idealized fantasy to the average solider around here.

"You have a left hand, you know!" He noticed she always attacked with her dominant hand, the right hand. It wasn't that big of a deal, but throughout the course of a mission, that stress on one particular hand would add up and render an entire arm useless. "Use it!"

There was an immediate adjustment in her sword patterns. He narrowed his eyes, watching the girl both literally and figuratively tear up the training grounds.

He had a conflict of interests at the present moment. Levi was teetering the line of either obeying Commander Erwin or Eren Jaeger when trying to figure out what to do with Mikasa Ackerman. Logically, he knew he had to follow the orders of his boss, and he owed it to mankind to craft Mikasa Ackerman into a beacon of hope. But every time he would extend a foot to trip her as she was carrying boxes during her daily chores, or when he would yank her by the roots of her hair to capture her full attention, there was a faint reiteration of Eren's request. He certainly did not possess any fear toward the kid and lacked any concern from how Eren would confront him, but Levi had a fascination in the relationship between Eren and Mikasa. It was like nothing he had ever seen, the way their attachment ran so deeply. He understood how much Eren cared about her, and how much it would hurt him to watch Levi torture Mikasa.

And while Levi could inflict physical pain without a second thought, there was a barrier he put up when it came to psychological pain. A body could heal, but a mind? Never. Levi did not want to be responsible for causing that sort of damage, no matter the person.

But, when it came down to it, an order was an order. Commander Erwin took astronomical precedent over the lowly Eren Jaeger, so the boy would have to deal with Mikasa Ackerman coming home in tears from time to time.

This day held no exception. Mikasa Ackerman landed on her feet just feet from Levi's spot on the ground, her breathing frantic, which she was trying her hardest to even out. She didn't want to be winded in front of him, and Levi rolled his eyes.

"Breathe, stupid. In and out, slowly," Levi straightened the sleeve of his tan coat. "Don't tell me you need a lesson in the human respiratory system, too."

"No, sir," She was looking at him, but Levi knew better. She was looking _through _him. Past Captain Levi, past the Survey Corps, past the end of the humans or the titans, whichever came first. "I'm fine."

Levi could feel the chill of Commander Erwin watching. Although he was physically not anywhere near the training course, Commander Erwin had a way of knowing everything. And he would know that Levi did not push Mikasa Ackerman far enough today, and he would be reprimanded for it. Another long-winded speech he would be stuck sitting through. So, in order to avoid that happening, he looked at Mikasa Ackerman without any trace of compassion.

"Two-mile run, now. You have exactly twelve minutes to finish."

She glowered, because that had become a common occurrence between the two of them. He let her do whatever she wanted with her facial expressions, as long she kept her tongue in line and completed all orders to his satisfaction. And this order, the two-mile run, had been satisfied, with an entire forty-five seconds to spare.

"Here," He handed Mikasa the canteen of water when she circled back to where Levi had been standing. Levi could have forced some push-ups out of her, or maybe another mile, but he decided against it. It was one thing to push the mind and body to build endurance, but it was an entirely new thing to overexert. That would do more harm than good, and Levi was in no mood to carry the heavy, sweaty girl to the infirmary.

"Compose yourself, and when you're ready, we'll finish off training with some sparring."

Levi stripped of his jacket and rolled the sleeves of his uniform shirt to the elbows. Mikasa sipped her water, and he watched as she stood with her eyes closed, chest rising and falling so rapidly. She was in top physical condition and yet she was panting as if she hadn't run a day in her life. But eventually, she got a grip over herself, and tossed the water to the side. Off slid her jacket, and off slid her scarf. Both were neatly folded and dropped at her feet.

"Let's try not to make me bleed this time, got it?"

She raised her fists. Eyes were still in some distance gaze, far past anywhere Levi could ever stand. "No promises."

This time, she waited for Levi to make the first move. And he did, an experimental fist flying to her head. He needed to gauge how much of a fight she was willing to put up, and he was sort of concerned when she hardly counterattacked. She stuck to dodging and minimal kicking. This was not what Levi had expected, nor wanted.

"How about you put up a real fight, Ackerman?"

Mikasa stared, blankly registering Levi's words. Then she frowned. "Don't tell me what to do."

"Excuse me?" He spoke carefully, trying to give her a second chance to kill the attitude.

"Essentially," She raised her fists again. Okay, _now _Levi may be getting a fight. "What I'm trying to say," She swung. It missed, but her power was nearly tangible. "is to go _fuck _yourself."

He couldn't even begin to trace where this hostility was coming from. Levi was under the impression that they reached middle ground, where Levi directed and Mikasa followed. Aside from the glares and the minimal conversation between the two, there hadn't been much adversary. Until this moment, and Levi was more surprised than angry.

"Ackerman—" He ducked out of the way of another punch, blocked another kick. She was moving rapidly, her attacks were rapid and sloppy—everything Levi had instructed Mikasa _not _to be. "What has gotten into you _this _time?"

"I'm following orders, Captain," She spoke with empty respect, almost innocent of telling him to fuck off, and even more innocent of trying to kill him with her bare hands. "Kill the enemy, right?"

"First off," He grabbed her wrist, but she kicked him in the shin—a weak attack, but it did the job. Levi let go, flying back to avoid her. He hadn't decided to attack her, but it was only a matter of time, or him reaching the limits of his patience. "You do _not _injure during a spar, let alone kill—"

"But you're the enemy, so I'm half right."

Levi had managed to piss off entire cohorts throughout the course of his lifetime—a lifetime that wasn't even that large in the first place. But he never found any offense in the disdain others felt toward him, and he always managed to have the upper hand. And here was Mikasa Ackerman, finding offense and lacking the upper hand.

This had to change, and that is why Levi started punching back. Mikasa wasn't surprised, or at least she didn't show it. He had beaten her before, and this was her chance to beat him. And Levi was gifting her that chance.

The fight was quick, it was raw, and Levi was surprised that it was real. He hadn't been in a real fight in years—unless a few weeks ago in the city counted—but like rule-breaking, fighting came so naturally. Mikasa, especially performing so erratically, was not much of a contender. Her punches were powerful, sending shockwaves resonating in Levi's body, but she didn't land enough to do any serious damage.

Mikasa, with her fair skin and pink lips and silky hair, moved in slow motion. Levi saw her weakness, the way she left her face open for the taking. And he could punch her in that gorgeous face so easily and end this fight, and reestablish his dominance. But she was so pretty, with a youthfulness about her face. He couldn't bring himself to soil that beauty with her own blood. It was almost blasphemous.

Then he felt something sharp in his lowermost body, and Levi saw the retraction of Mikasa's foot from his crotch. A wave of nausea hit him, and he recoiled, falling down onto the grass. Through his groveling, he managed to catch Mikasa raising her foot again, hurdling it at full force, right in the direction of his head.

He had been in this predicament numerous times before, on the ground at the mercy of someone else's foot. So he knew how to aim for the ankle, and he understood that her balance would be off-center, and he executed his plan—ripping Mikasa out of her perfect balance and causing her to stumble back—which gave him the right amount of time to rise to his feet.

And that same opening presented itself, her face unshielded and vulnerable. This time, he took his chance. But he still didn't want to hurt her face, so he lowered his target down to her neck.

Her hands clawed at his grip around her throat, and she kicked furiously as he pushed her backward onto the ground. Levi had her pinned down, restricting her breathing, and he saw fear in her eyes. It was surprising—Mikasa never even showed fear in the presence of titans—but it wasn't enough for Levi to release. Then she was screaming. Levi had heard plenty of screams during his career as a soldier, and even numerous times before that. But Mikasa Ackerman screaming? It was as if she genuinely believed Levi would kill her.

He wouldn't, but he still had to teach her a lesson. Actions had consequences, and this was hers.

"P-Please—s-stop—" She was choking, begging. Levi didn't have the heart to release.

Then that's when she started crying.

Crying.

Mikasa Ackerman crying.

Blood, sweat, and tears was the saying, but Mikasa Ackerman only demonstrated the former two. Levi always admired her ability to keep the tears in, even during the most stressing of situations. But here she lost something as dumb as a spar, and she was crying. Tears were falling, she was wailing as much as her lungs would allow, and Levi _had _to let go.

He had made the girl cry.

No, he had made her _hysteric_.

He felt bad, a sort of guilt he never in his life ever felt. He was heartless and lacked even a fragment of a soul, but he was overwhelmed with the need to shake this girl by her shoulders and scream every sorry he was capable of. Apologies meant for her, and apologies meant for the rest of the world.

Levi wouldn't do that, of course. He made her cry, and it was too late. No need to look backward, only forward. So, in an attempt to help her to her feet and maybe free her of this evening's chores as some sort of consolation, he dropped his hands to his side, rising to his feet.

The world started spinning, and Levi couldn't keep his feet firmly under him. Sharp echoes of his brain hitting the back of his skull knocked the wind out of him, and he could taste blood on his lips. Mikasa lowering her fist was the last image Levi could make out, before falling unconscious entirely.

* * *

"This is all _your _fault," Levi hissed at the irritatingly cheerful excuse of an expert that Hanji Zoe was. "You're a goddamned _scientist_. I would like to assume your methods weren't so hazardous to my physical well-being."

She dropped the tray of food onto the bed-side table. The woman wasn't phased by Levi's harshness. "Stop being such a _baby_, Levi. One little concussion and suddenly you're a bitching and moaning mess," Hanji looked at Levi with a smile. "Maybe if you learned how to fight, you wouldn't be in here."

"I can show you right now how capable I am of fighting," Levi, although he would never admit, was pouting. He stared at the line were the ceiling and the wall met, because that was the biggest source of entertainment in this infirmary. He was going mad. "How long am I supposed to stay confined to this bed?"

"So dramatic," Hanji was more absorbed with the clipboard in her hand, the sound of her pen scratching against the paper filling the otherwise empty room. "You're free to go whenever you want."

That was a pleasant surprise. Levi would've assumed that Hanji already had handcuffs prepared to chain him down in order to recover. "And how am I for training?"

"Take it easy for the rest of the week, and come see me every day for a check up. I'll tell you when you're ready for activity," Hanji started walking away. Over her shoulder, she bid her regards. "Looks like someone came to visit you. Have fun!"

Levi dropped his head against the pillow, an action he immediately regretted. This headache he had was far worse than he thought he was capable of tolerating. And now he had to face Commander Erwin yelling at him for letting Mikasa Ackerman hurt him. Or maybe it was Eren Jaeger, here to give Levi a lecture for making his beloved little girlfriend upset.

Either way, he knew it would be about Mikasa Ackerman, and either way, he was not in the mood for it.

But then, because the universe had a fucking sense of humor, Mikasa Ackerman in the flesh poked her head into the room. Levi wasn't sure if he wanted to bother with acknowledging her presence.

"Hey."

Her voice was quiet, almost mistaken for an exhale of breath. Despite the anger he should have felt toward her, Levi could feel himself slipping. He looked at the girl.

"Ackerman."

Mikasa took that as a green light to enter, which she did with upmost caution. She was still in her uniform, even though it had to be well into the night and everyone else was probably in their lounging attire.

"How are you feeling, Captain?"

The anger he should have been feeling finally hit, and Levi tried killing her with one look. It wasn't fatal enough, but it was enough for Mikasa to hesitate that much more.

"What is it that you want?"

There wasn't a chair in the room—unsurprising, because in reality, there was no one who would come visit Levi while he'd be in the infirmary—so Mikasa remained standing. It wasn't like they were on good enough terms for her to join him on the bed.

"Eren sent me to come see you."

So it wasn't the guilt of giving her captain a concussion, but because her stupid little shit of a boyfriend told her to show up, probably with flowers and a letter of apology. Levi was wondering where the flowers were.

"Jaeger," Levi finally said. He looked down at his lap, then turned his head slightly to see Mikasa Ackerman. "Funny how he isn't even a goddamned _human_, and yet he still has more of a heart than you do."

"That's not fair," Mikasa, after her bold statement, shut her mouth. Her fingers went straight for the red scarf hanging against her chest.

"You have quite the chutzpah to knock me out, then come to visit me in the infirmary due to said knock-out, and then stand there and tell me what it is that is fair and not fair," His voice gradually raised in intensity, but nobody was yelling. Maybe because this headache hurt too bad to handle loud noise, let alone produce such a loud noise. "I ask again, Ackerman. What the hell is it that you want?"

"Eren told me—" She stopped, and then rephrased. "I realized that I owe you an explanation."

An _explanation_. Not an apology.

"Due to recent circumstances, my patience threshold has been lowered considerably," Levi looked away, out the window and into the moonlight. "So I suggest you make it quick."

"According to Eren, he thinks that you taking me into the city was an attempt at creating a stronger relationship," Mikasa lacked confidence in that statement, as if she didn't believe that could ever be the truth. Alas, it was. "And he thinks that I was stupid to blow it."

Levi agreed. "You were."

"So it was an attempt at bonding?"

"Emphasis on _was._"

"Right," Mikasa looked down. "I was still angry with what you said to me in the city, how you said I didn't know anything about suffering. It's not true, and I hated you so much for belittling my past to that statement."

Levi didn't say anything. He didn't want to say anything. This was Mikasa Ackerman's opportunity to speak, and he would give it to her.

"And I attacked you today because the way you pinned me down—that wasn't the first time a man's hands were around my neck."

There was nothing Levi could say. He bowed his head, looking away from the girl. She had been touched by a man before, and in a way that made Mikasa's first instinct to kill? Levi was disgusted. Not with Mikasa, but with himself.

"What happened?" He finally asked.

Mikasa remained quiet, but only for a beat. "That's why Eren sent me, and that's why I came. He said that I needed to open up. He said it was for the better of mankind, and for my own personal training, if we had a camaraderie that stemmed into good terms. That if I demonstrated trust in you, it would allow for more on the battlefield."

Levi wanted to nod. Maybe this was why Hanji even suggested such a thing in the first place. But Levi remained still, silent in his own theories and speculations about this girl, and what would become of the two of them. He couldn't even look in her direction.

She stepped forward, footsteps light, as if they were ready to turn and run away at any moment. Then there was the feeling of her warmth on his hand. She was touching him. Another human being was touching Levi, and not in a way that would potentially lead to his demise. And as soon as he registered her contact, she was gone, already walking out of the door, leaving behind no trace beside a simple request.

"Whenever you recover, come find me. I'd like to show you what happened to me."

* * *

_The Levi/Mikasa ball gets rolling from here on out._

_So does Eren/Mikasa, because I can't not ship them._

_And I do think they're in character, at least for the most part._

_I'm trying not to confine myself to the archetypes that the rest of the fandom has set up for them._

_Feel free to end my life if you think otherwise._

_No but really, please do tell me what you think._

_(On an unrelated matter, I promise I'll update my other fic. Eventually.)_

_I love you._


	4. Ch 4: Going

_Skin me alive for taking forever to write this. Life and stuff, you know how it goes._

_Actually, no. I just have been a lazy fuck. Please do try to forgive._

_Enjoy chapter four, my loves. Despite how obnoxiously long it is._

* * *

There wasn't much a physically incapacitated person could do in the Recon Corps. Help in the kitchen, fill out paperwork, maybe grease the gears of the 3DMG. But there were only so many times Levi's gear could be cleaned and inspected before it was unnecessary. It wasn't like he was using the gear, so it was pointless. He himself felt pointless. He was a waste of space and should be killed right there on the spot.

Then Hanji reminds him that it's only been two days out of commission and that Levi is being a bit of a drama queen. Then she suggests that he go get some fresh air and maybe bark orders at the unsuspecting low-ranking soldiers. That would make him feel better for sure.

And it _was _making him feel better, telling the bald-looking kid go clean the horse stables, knowing he couldn't stomach the smell. Or sending the freckled tall girl and her angel-looking counterpart to separate ends of the castle for chores, knowing the freckled girl would probably fall prey to separation anxiety.

In the short run, there were no missions planned. Commander Erwin was still recuperating his control over the Recon Corps after that atrocious 57th expedition. Levi immediately stopped thinking about that. Wounds were not meant to be revisited. So in an attempt at distraction, he made his way in the direction of the training field. Watching the fat soldiers trying to keep up with the running would serve for good entertainment, albeit kind of cruel.

But he felt his stomach drop into the pits of his excretion guts when he got there. Levi stood at the top of the hill, looking down at the sight below. There was Mikasa Ackerman, the one and only soldier under his complete command, training with Commander Erwin.

Commander Erwin took over Mikasa Ackerman's training with the good grace of allowing Levi the time to heal, but it was obvious he just wanted to take a hands-on crack at the prodigious girl. And there he was, assisting her with training. It was no exceptional regiment, nothing more than what Levi himself would demand from the girl,

However, there was something apparent in Mikasa Ackerman's face, and that was what made Levi feel odd. It was an interesting feeling, one he had never had before, or maybe he did, but it was too long ago and too fleeting for him to remember. She was looking pleasant with Commander Erwin. Granted, this was Mikasa Ackerman and she never looked conventionally happy. But he saw how wide her eyes were, as if she was visually feasting on whatever strategies Commander Erwin had to offer. There was no argument in her inflection, no scowl poisoning her pretty face, both of which had become typical of her and Levi's dynamic.

Mikasa Ackerman was not only known for her well-hidden intelligence and her inhumane physical capacity, but for the respect she treated others, and especially her superiors. And Levi always begged to differ with that last statement, with the evidence of her chagrin on their day-to-day training basis. He assumed it was just a figment of everyone's imagination. But there she was, responsive and, well, _obedient. _

Levi, her captain, was obviously the one exception to the rule. She didn't respect him as her captain, and that thought was nice and snug, deep under his skin.

But what was that invitation into her psyche? She would like to show him what had happened to her?

He wasn't sure if that offer really counted as a demonstration of trust. After all, Eren Jaeger kind of shoved her into it. Mikasa Ackerman _did_ seem genuine about it, Levi came to think. He could not, though, see the relevance between her past and their future. _Their _future? That insinuated too much of a conjunction between the two of them. Titan-slaying and the pissy Eren boy were the only links between the two of them.

But his interest had been piqued, and had he decided to be honest for a good second, he would admit to being sort of anxious to recover from this concussion. The sooner he'd recover, the sooner he could take Mikasa Ackerman up on that offer. She asked him to go find her, and for the first time in a long while, he was willing to search.

There was only so much he could speculate about the girl before it started sounding a tad bit improbable. Nearly every human alive had lost _someone _to a titan attack, it seemed. That situation sounded a bit...anticlimactic for someone with such an emotional tolerance as hers. Was it a long-winded tale of love and loss? She was too young—seventeen, right?—for anything pertaining to some intense love story. And on top of that, her last five years of existence centered around this hellhole of warfare. He'd like to doubt her betrothal at the age of ten. Maybe it was aliens. Bigfoot. She stubbed her toe one night and because of it, she lost all faith in furniture.

Levi scoffed at these thoughts. He had more important things to worry about than whatever bruising the girl had to undergo. Like he said, five years of her life had been within the confines of the Recon Corps. Five years was plenty to package it all away, and to move forward. This all seemed ridiculous, come to think. He'd be in his right mind to ignore whatever shit this girl was shouldering, all in the name of professionalism. It was settled. Forget Mikasa Ackerman and her—

"Captain Levi?"

There was Mikasa Ackerman, right in touching distance. His legs carried him all this way while he was so consumed in his own thought.

"Is there something you need from us, Levi?"

And there was Commander Erwin next to them, his height actually kind of comical in comparison to him. Commander Erwin was tall and well-spoken, handsome. No wonder Mikasa Ackerman was so responsive to his direction. There was an itchiness all over his innards when he thought about that.

The two were expecting an explanation from Levi, that much was certain. The question came when Levi tried to think about a response. He didn't intend to confront them—it just sort of happened. Such a lack of attention and such an ideomotor phenomenon actually kind of startled Levi. He had better control over himself than that. But they were still waiting for Levi to speak, so he'd have to scold himself later.

While trying to quickly formulate _something—_since he didn't want to openly admit to his decision of keeping their association professional, let alone in front of Commander Erwin—he looked at Mikasa Ackerman, as if an answer was buried deep within the ivory pores of her smooth face. Her eyes held steady toward the ground, as if the grass beneath her feet was the next enemy on her list of vengeance. Levi could not see that scar above her lips—such rosy lips—but he knew it was there. Physical evidence of her struggles. They existed, and they were real. Levi had scars of his own. It was only natural for him to sympathize so heavily. And so he sympathized, so deeply—enough to completely negate his decision he had made not even a full minute earlier.

Mikasa Ackerman asked him to come find her, and he considered this the search party.

"Ackerman, I just wanted to inform you that I had been mulling over the suggestion you made a few days prior. And I have come to decide that I will discuss it further with you this evening."

She nodded—so slightly, it was as if she hadn't moved at all.

"I'll see you at the dining hall tonight."

* * *

This was the dining hall, and it was tonight.

Levi was _not _anticipating anything. It would be a conversation over a cup of tea, at most. She said she would like to _show _him what happened. Maybe she had a photo or memento to show, or maybe a demonstration?

Definitely no ounce of anticipation.

It had to have been nine o'clock—he should be relaxing over his cup of tea, _alone. _There was the chair he always chose to sit at, and there he was, _not _sitting in it. He was pacing. And when he realized he was pacing, he immediately stopped in his motions. Captain Levi did_ not _pace. He had a firmer grip over his anxiety. No nail-biting, no teeth-grinding, no face-flushing, and _especially _no pacing. He wasn't a child at the front of his class, giving a presentation on a topic he hadn't bothered to research. And certainly, he was not some boy on his first date with a girl. Especially if that date was Mikasa Ackerman. Nerves were not a thing that existed in Levi's body. He felt, sure, but he would never let it present itself visibly all over his face or body language, let alone both.

Then he was hearing footsteps and his back straightened, as if the top of his spine were to shoot out of the top of his skull, though the ceiling, and into the heavens.

Still no ounce of anticipation.

But there were those footsteps. They were heavy and frequent and...numerous? Either Mikasa Ackerman grew eight legs in the span of six hours, or she had someone with—

"Captain Levi!"

And either Mikasa Ackerman turned into a boy in the span of six hours, or that voice wasn't hers.

It wasn't, he came to discover. Eren Jaeger turned around the corner, voice loud and aggressive, even in an empty room in the dead of night.

"What are you doing here?"

Levi's question practically answered itself when Mikasa Ackerman trailed a few steps right behind Jaeger's. There was a heaviness that sent his spine back down from the heavens, right through his skull again, and spear itself downward into the pits of hell. He felt almost stupid feeling so anxious, even though anxiety was not synonymous with his personality. Of course there would be no intimacy with Mikasa Ackerman—not that he was expecting intimacy with her, nor did he particularly seek it. But Eren Jaeger's presence made this whole discovery and demonstration of trust sort of pointless. She didn't _want _to share this piece of her with Levi, so she neeed to bring Eren along to assist her. Or have him do it for her, which seemed to be like salt in the wound.

He didn't bargain for a package deal when requesting Mikasa Ackerman to meet him, but he also didn't feel like making a big deal out of it—making a big deal would imply that he was expecting something more personal. And while it was questionable on whether he actually did or not, he was not going to let that debate be known to either of them.

It was surprising when he finally noticed the familiar machinery belted around their respective hips, and it was even more surprising when Mikasa was the one to step forward and speak.

"I need you to get your maneuver gear."

* * *

This horse ride was much too different from the last time he and Mikasa Ackerman ventured out past curfew. Not to mention the presence of Eren, and heading in the complete opposite direction of the previous destination, added to the dissimilarity.

When venturing into the city that first time, everything was slow, cathartic. Levi even dared to say it was peaceful. It was just Levi and Mikasa on the entire planet, it seemed. But this time, it was different. Different, but not unfamiliar. So familiar, that in fact, Levi would openly admit that he was nervous.

It would take days, maybe even _weeks_, in advance for Levi to prepare for an expedition outside the walls. Missions were minor, lasting a day, usually less, and never going farther than a few hectares away from the walls. But when Commander Levi would call for an all-present meeting in the courtyard of the castle, and have his strategists hold up those giant papers behind him, Levi knew he would have to take the time to prepare. Those tactic papers signified an expedition—the more papers to display, the longer they would be out of the safety of the walls. Sometimes a few days if they were lucky, maybe a week or two if they caught a bad break, and there was always that one expedition that lasted _months_. There was no hell in comparison to knowing that death was a bitingly real and intimidatingly likely possibility—every hour, every day, every week, month after _month_.

And because of that, Levi would need to revert into his own mind in preparation. He needed to, not persuade, but _tell _himself that he was going to come back alive. Levi would need to recite it until it was fact, worthy enough to be put in books and taught as a religion. There was no god or gods to Levi, only the one and only true proverb that kept him sane: do nothing but survive.

Levi was in his own head, saying this ad nauseam. Why? Because this horse ride was so familiar. Silence was deafeningly loud, with even the sound of the horses unable to penetrate the cochlea. There was nothing in the atmosphere, except from that tangible heaviness stemming from the lurking ominousness. Levi could taste it on his tongue, and the sourness made him wince. The three of them were riding so fast, too fast, and with such purpose.

However, Levi was giving them the benefit of the doubt. Their adrenal glands were overflowing and sloshing over their better judgment, and the childish daredevils in each of them wanted to ride fast. This was a race, and Levi had no need to think what he had been thinking. No need to recite his asinine proverb because no one would be in a situation that would demand survival.

That proverb was for when he would be leaving the walls. And Levi wanted—no, _needed—_to assume that they weren't going anywhere.

But they _were_ riding completely perpendicular to the wall.

Mere coincidence, he assured himself.

He kept assuring himself, all the way up to the point where he would need to stick his head straight upward in order to maintain the top of the wall within his view.

And when Mikasa Ackerman, their leader of this quest, finally slowed to a halt and dismounted without any room for discussion, he was still assuring himself.

Still assuring himself, even when he was feeling the hard coolness of the wall underneath his palm.

Benefit of the doubt, coincidence, ignorant bliss—whatever it was called, Levi tried to desperately maintain it. This was all a hilarious joke, and Levi tried really hard to fake a laugh about the whole thing. Mikasa Ackerman was confident in her motions—yet again, there was never a time where she wasn't. Eren Jaeger possessed assurance as well, stemming more from his dire hubris than anything. Still, Levi tried just this one time to trust the instincts of someone other than himself.

"Hitch your horses to this tree," She demonstrated with her own horse, looping the straps around the trunk and pulling tight. Eren, without even a twitch of an eyebrow, followed suit. Levi was completely dumb in going with the direction. Taking direction from someone ranking below him was only the first of many surprising things to come, Levi figured.

The horses were secure, the moon was full, and their nerves were shocked. Levi could _see _the trembles and the short breaths and the cold sweats. That didn't stop Mikasa from positioning herself, that slender finger of hers already positioned over the trigger that shot out the grappling hooks.

"Up we go."

And up they did go.

Because, really, he couldn't leave these two kids blindly jumping to their deaths in the dead of night. Mikasa had a striking sense of purpose in her motions, and dying when there was a purpose at hand was the worst way to go. Dead with unfulfilled goals and let-downs to the survivors. Levi couldn't let that happen to her, or to Eren. Levi was older, more skilled, and had exhaustively quantifiable experience on his side, so there was no way in hell he was going to let someone die so simply. Not when such a pretty face was at stake.

So, yes, up they did go.

It was a difficult climb, since it was hard to hook onto a flat surface. There was a way around that problem, and that required their hooks to break and pierce into the walls. That would leave marks, evidence of a breach. But the Garrison wouldn't assume much because, quite frankly, their common senses were lacking depth. But the three offenders kept their motions quick and stretched the length of their hooks to its maximum in order to minimize the damage.

More rule-breaking, all instinctive to Levi.

There was no time at the top to appreciate their panorama. A Garrison guard, despite how clueless, would _eventually _find them and send out an arrest warrant, and laying at the hands of Commander Erwin—or worse, the politicians in the innermost walls once they'd find out about this breach—would be the punishment of a lifetime. They might even be stripped of their ranks and forced into civilian life, no matter their value to humanity. Politicians did not seem to care, because in an attempt to not look so pathetically useless—which politicians _were_—they would send even the messiah himself straight to the gallows.

So getting caught was definitely the foremost objective. Other than that, Levi was at the whims of the seventeen-year-old girl who had been outside of the walls enough times to count on one hand.

And the next whim she subjected to them was the free-fall. A running jump off the ledge, letting the gravitational acceleration do the work. Heights meant nothing to Levi, so he didn't so much as blink when his feet were no longer underneath the solidity of the walls. In his free fall, he noticed in a quick flash of distraction that they scaled the walls of Trost. The city was a streak of light at the corner of his eye before he refocused his attention on his present action.

The present action of nosediving straight into the nightmare of titans and darkness.

He knew he needed to demonstrate how to safely land. There were lessons in basic training over it, but it was taught verbally and in theory, listed as one of the many skills that is needed to know for the sake of completion, never for any actual practical use. Levi locked his body tight into position, face pointed toward the ground, to increase his wind resistance and give time for Mikasa and Eren to observe. He took less than a second to commit to a tree, found its sturdiest apex, aimed, and fired. As his path of free-fall started to ween in favor of the direction of the rope, he treated the tension as a swing of sorts. As he swung more parallel to the ground, he retracted the rope to get more distance between himself and the ground. The velocity was reduced significantly, he was no longer at risk of plummeting, and it was just a matter of proper timing to know when to release the hook on the tree and fall the rest of the non-lethal distance.

It was a simple science, one that Levi hoped that both Mikasa and Eren could learn in a matter of seconds, because there was only so much free-fall time before they were both mangled and dead on the ground. Levi squinted his hardest to find their figures in the air, and when he realized how difficult it was for him to see in the dark, he knew there was no way that either one of them was able to watch his textbook landing.

Then there was Eren, barely visible among the leaves. Levi watched the way he didn't grapple onto a tree until the last possible minute. The hook finally caught, and his motions mimicked the swinging of Levi's. It was awkward and the way he was jerking around as he latched back and forth onto each tree was bound to leave some bruising, both internal and external. It still absorbed some of his momentum, and his injuries were inconsequential because Eren had that disgusting lizard-like trait of regenerating. If he were to slam straight into the ground, it'd hurt him significantly, but the damage would only be momentary. However, regeneration did take time, and Levi did not want to sit around right next to the wall, waiting for the damn lizard boy to regrow bones and phalanges, and he'd be damned if he would be stuck carrying Eren until they were far away enough from the Garrison. So, although it was ugly, Eren's landing would suffice.

But that was only one of the two brats he was stuck with. Where was the one whose idea this was in the first place? A part of Levi wanted Mikasa Ackerman's body to make nice with the ground as consolation for putting him in this position, but she _didn't_ regenerate, and he knew her landing would somehow work out, Levi's demonstration as reference or not.

Worry started to rake over Levi's guts. It had already been a few minutes and there was no sign of Mikasa. It was scientifically impossible for her to be anywhere but on the ground. Maybe she was mangled in a tree, and so Levi kept his eyes out for that red scarf somewhere amongst the foliage. Eren was bordering on full-fledged panic mode when Mikasa was _nowhere _to be found.

"Relax, Jaeger. Gravity did not suddenly stop existing. She has mass, therefore, she is somewhere on the ground."

"It's not that," Eren had more control over his voice than Levi expected. "It's whether she's alive on the ground or not."

Levi didn't need that possibility verbally expressed. Mikasa was the best of the best, and it would have been a shame if she died of something as futile as a fall. He didn't want to think about it.

Then there was a pattering in the distance. Levi unsheathed his swords, immediately remembering they were in titan territory.

"Whatever you do, Eren," Levi warned lowly, not letting any room for argument. "You will not, under any fucking circumstance, turn into a titan while we're out here. I'll kill you if you even try."

"I understand," Eren whispered, thankfully extracting his swords instead of raising his hand to his teeth. "If Mikasa is injured, she won't be able to handle a titan alone."

"Then we better hope she's fine."

And with that, Levi pulled himself into the trees, hoping his dark green cape would camouflage himself amongst the branches. He also hoped that titans lacked 20/20 vision.

Levi strained to hear those footsteps so he could pinpoint the source, take two slashes to a nape, and get onto recovering Mikasa. When he finally heard the noise again, he hesitated. Titan footsteps were heavy, slow, and usually erratic. This noise was light, frequent, and rhythmic—almost similar to a horse?

"Captain Levi!"

As soon as he registered the femininity of that voice, he slowed down, perching himself on a branch. It was hard to make out anything, but he saw the moonlight filtering through the tops of the trees, reflecting against something red.

"Is that you, Ackerman?"

"Where is Eren?" She answered in lieu of confirming her identity. Under the slight moonlight, Levi saw the sheen of a horse's coat. A following neigh affirmed that, in fact, Mikasa Ackerman was alive and well, atop a horse.

"Where the hell did you get a horse from?" Levi could only ask. It seemed to be the most prevalent of things on his mind.

"I aimed to land on the outskirts of these woods," She explained as fast as her mouth would comprehensively allow. "Horses congregate at the nearby pond. There were at least five that I spotted."

He wanted to ask how she knew this, and how she knew there was a nearby pond. But there were bigger fish to fry, even though Levi could not stand the taste of fish. "Jaeger is just a few feet away. Locate him and meet me outside these woods."

Levi carefully dodged the twigs and the branches, unable to travel with speed due to such a lack of visibility. Eventually, he got to the point where he saw the clearing. Not wanting to be stranded on flatland in titan territory, he maintained a scoping point on the furthermost tree. He looked in the distance, trying to visualized where exactly this party was headed. Of course, it was dark and there wasn't much to see except for what was immediately in front of him. That included his own hands, which was probably the extent of the list.

An overwhelming urge to play connect-the-dots with the stars hit him. The sky was infinite above his own head, and although he was pretty short to begin with, he couldn't help but feel so helplessly puny under the expanse of the universe. His heart was palpitating at the nothingness all around him. He was confined to such a small piece of something bigger for his whole life. His comrades were always so obsessed with traveling outward, but Levi couldn't help but wonder why they didn't think about traveling upward. What was up there? Were humans only relevant here on earth, or were they up there too? Did that go for the titans as well? What if the answer was not in annihilating the titans, but migrating elsewhere? Migrating into the stars?

Levi liked to think each star was a comrade lost, and that was just their way of keeping in touch until he was in the sky amongst them. There seemed to be billions upon trillions of stars, and the amount of people Levi had lost was only a paltry fraction of that number, but sometimes it really did feel like he had lost that many, and more.

Maybe that sparkling star over there was Petra. She always had the best smile, one that never, under any circumstance, went away. It wouldn't be physically on her face from time to time, but it was always radiating from her heart. Even from her dead body.

That moving one had to be Gunter. He was always in the middle of some course of action, never bothering to rest, perpetually in motion. He wished he could have had that same intense sense of duty. If only Gunter was still alive—maybe Levi could've learned a thing or two.

Auruo had to be the big fat star. While Levi respected his skills, the arrogance and need to be the center of attention got to him. It still didn't dull the pain of losing him.

Then there was that star that almost looked like it was conjoined with the one next to it. Erd always went on and on about his fiancée, showed pictures of a enviously beautiful woman. The way he put so much into another human being—Levi could hardly picture such a bond, and couldn't even try to imagine that bond stretched out to fit a lifelong marriage. But it gave him faith that maybe, just maybe, there was another human out there on this planet he might be willing to let in.

"Captain Levi!"

Mikasa Ackerman's voice shot him out of his stargazing. As if psychological muscle memory, he revoked those thoughts of his squadmates. There they went, locked deep within his cerebrum, never to be seen again. No more wound-licking. This was titan-territory, they were pressed for time to achieve whatever mission they were on, and visibility was not on their side. In short, there were more pressing issues to attend to. There always would be, so no more looking back.

He couldn't look back because he wasn't going that way.

So he stood up—he didn't remember sitting down on the branch in the first place—and locked his eyes downward to the shadowy figure of the pretty girl on horseback.

Levi sighed, jumping down to the earth below.

* * *

Sure, he was physically capable, perfectly able-bodied to perform even the most arduous of feats. And sure, he had the mental discipline to fight through the pain and go for long periods of time. His endurance was what separated him from the average solider. That stamina carried him to hell and back, with enough still in him for a round two.

That didn't mean it didn't suck. It did suck, and sometimes, Levi wished he was weak enough to justify crying.

Bareback riding on a horse wasn't that bad.

Long-distance riding on a horse wasn't that bad.

Bareback riding on a horse for a long distance? Levi wished the gods almighty would smite him then and there.

It was convenient that they had access to horses, sure, so they could cut traveling time significantly. But wild horses don't come standard with a saddle, shoes, and trust in human beings. It was rough, with enough bite marks and bruisings to attest to the difficulty, but the horses were probably the worst of their travels.

Titan territory is what they called it, but it didn't seem that. In all the miles they traveled—somewhere among the double-digits at this point—there had only been a titan sighting once or twice. Even then, nightvision did not seem to be a trait at their disposal, so the encounters were brief and merely a matter of evading and outrunning, neither of which required much fortitude.

But Levi's legs were starting to cramp, the moon was at its peak in the sky, and he had that pressure in his bladder that didn't exactly bring good news. So he took a grin-and-bear-it approach, minus the grin part. He'd be sure to tie up both these brats and subject them to waterboarding when this was all said and done.

And he continued to blindly venture god-knows-how-far. He was being led to, statistically speaking, his death. Why was he out here again? To learn whatever Mikasa Ackerman faced in her path? Levi bitterly wondered why a two-minute monologue wouldn't suffice, and why he had to be dragged all the way out here. The dramatics were through the roof. Except there was no roof, because they were in the middle of fucking nowhere and there was no architectural building to provide said metaphorical roof.

Levi had racked up enough deplore to keep him from agreeing to do anything for anyone ever again, and by that point, it almost seemed that their speed was reducing because of how long they had been riding. His mind was playing tricks on him. The brats had done it. They had _literally _driven their Captain Levi to the point of batshit insanity

Then he realized that Mikasa and Eren were, in fact, slowing down in actuality. A break was what Levi needed, but he knew that time was of the essence, and there was no room to get to wherever in the sweet merciful fuck they were going, and make it back to the castle before wake-up call.

This was a terrible idea and Levi should have said 'hell no' back over at the wall.

It seemed that they were in the foothills of a mountain, with no trees in sight. This was, strategically, the worst place possible to take a break. Or if they were switching to traveling by foot, Levi would be damned if he got volunteered for hiking. Either way, Levi was this close to vocalizing his depletion of patience. He dismounted right behind the two shitheads, wondering why the fuck they weren't moving or saying anything.

Mikasa reached for Eren's hand, touch hesitant and unsure. Levi watched as Eren tightened his hand around Mikasa's as an act of comfort. Great. He had been dragged all the way out here to supervise a date.

He opened his mouth, ready to say exactly what he was thinking—nothing nice, that was for sure. But Mikasa beat him to the punch, voice soft, almost lost in the cold breeze.

"Here it is."

Levi looked around them, at the sight that brought them all the way out here in the first place. It was a cottage. Or a cabin. Levi wasn't sure what exactly differentiated the two. But either way, he was brought out here to look at some nasty, abandoned, wooden infrastructure. This stupid little house, of which couldn't be bigger than his own room in the castle, was bringing the most emotionally-sound human being to her knees.

And Levi watched her fall, down to the ground, releasing the hand of her most important person. There was no denying the wretchedness of her voice.

"My old home. The house where my parents were murdered."

* * *

_An obnoxiously long chapter to be paired with an obnoxiously long author's note. Feel free to stop reading at this point, because I would. And it's my author's note, so let that paint a picture for how irrelevant my commentary is. _

_Anyway._

_On a technical note, I wanna clarify a few things._

_First: oh my god I spent forever trying to make this entire scene geographically accurate. For the life of me, though, I could not figure out where shit was supposed to go, and in the end, I kind of haphazardly threw it all together._

_Someone start a petition for an official map of the cities to be released._

_Second: canon is my priority, aside from making this verbally appealing and getting Levi to mack on Mikasa, but I still rearranged shit to make things work in my favor 'cause I'm 1) lazy, and 2) shameless. Therefore, I hacked out all the big plot bullshit, i.e., Annie/Bert/Renier, Ymir/Christa/Historia, Eren's basement, etc. _

_I can't put my own twist on it to make it feasibly canon, so forgive my shitty ploy to deliver mediocre pwp. _

_On top of all that, I upped Mikasa/Eren/everyone's fifteen-years. _

_I know I did that like two chapters ago, but here is my official explanation 'cause I don't want someone to be like, "Boo, how could the 57th expedition just happen and still have Mikasa be seventeen?"_

_To which I must contend, "Have you ever written kiddie porn? It's not cute."_

_So yes. Seventeen._

_And so I will depart with a request for you to review. Be sure to include long-winded author's notes after the review to mock me._

_No but really, I love you. You are all just too kind, it's kind of unreal._


End file.
